The Taliban be like ‘hey, she’s stealing our schtick!’

Source: Wikimedia Commons

During an appearance on Christian Nationalist David Brody’s “Real America’s Voice Network,” South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem demanded that the actions of politicians need to “line up with the word of God.” She also bragged about the many ways in which she has injected things like “God and prayer” into her state’s public schools, while at the same time forbidding COVID mask mandates, adding that “we in South Dakota have decided to take action to really stand for biblical principles.”

So, let me get this straight, Gov. Noem won’t let school children wear masks to protect themselves from COVID, because…

Mike Lindell and Jim Bakker get together for some pillow talk.

Source: Wikimedia Commons

Salon reports that during a three-day virtual sales pitch for his bedding, cleverly disguised as an election fraud research fundraiser, conspiracy theorist and MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell told disgraced televangelist Jim Bakker that he has learned he’s now “number one” on a secret Biden Administration’s White House “kill list.”

Really Mike? You’ve actually seen Biden’s “kill list?” I hate to sound skeptical, but it seems rather stupid to let your future victims — see your “kill list.” …

Now, a lot of folks are anti-vax, but anti-yoga is quite a stretch!

Source: Wikimedia Commons

Former gubernatorial candidate and businessman Tim James is considering waging an intra-party campaign against Alabama Republican Gov. Kay Ivey, who infuriated the GOP’s anti-vax base recently when she said it was “time to start blaming the unvaccinated folks” for the resurgent pandemic. James then went on to declare war on the “beast with three heads,” which he defined as “critical race theory, transgender rights, and yoga in public schools.”

Well, go ahead and laugh if you want, but all I can say is — thank goodness we have men like Tim James around, who have the courage to speak up…

Gee, I somehow suspect it wasn’t really the COVID shot making his balls swell like that!

Source: Wikimedia Commons

After Nicki Minaj announced she hasn’t gotten the COVID vaccine because her cousin’s friend in Trinidad’s testicles became so swollen — that his fiancé left him. Now, after hearing that story, Fox News host and anti-vaccine crusader Tucker Carlson, tried to make contact with Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend during his show by announcing “We haven’t been able to figure out if this show is broadcast in Trinidad, but if Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend is watching, or his former fiancé is watching, we want to hear your story. We’ll come to the Port of Spain to see you.”

Oh, I get…

Reminds me of that old tune ‘Fly me to the Moonies, and let me give that keynote speech!’

Source: Wikimedia Commons

Rather than participate like other presidents in ceremonies around the 20th anniversary of the 9–11 terrorist attacks, former President Donald Trump instead chose to give the keynote speech at a “Unification Church” conference (aka the Moonie cult), heaping praise on Hak Ja Han Moon, widow of Reverend Sun Myung Moon — the cult’s founder. The “Moonie cult” is known for its extreme right-wing politics, appreciation of AR-15 assault rifles, ownership of the conservative Washington Times newspaper, and its mass weddings of thousands of couples — all selected and paired together by the Unification Church.

Good grief! Forgive me for getting…

Gee, why do bad things always happen to such nice people?

Source: Wikimedia Commons

The Anchorage Daily News reports that anti-mask Alaska State Senator and Oral Roberts University graduate Lora Reinbold (R), is complaining about not being able to make it from her home to legislative sessions in Juneau, unless she drives for two days through Canada, because American Airlines banned her for repeatedly harassing boarding staff and flight attendants over mask requirements. That said, Sen. Reinbold claims she was really banned for political reasons and is demanding she be paid her state senator salary, even if she doesn’t show up for work.

Gee, getting paid for not working? I thought that’s what Republicans…

Graham would have no doubt complained about God ‘resting’ on the seventh day!

Source: Wikimedia Commons

MAGA right-wing evangelist Franklin Graham spent his Labor Day weekend trashing those “lazy American workers” who refuse to work shitty jobs, that pay starvation wages, with miserable working conditions — telling followers how “its troubling to witness the disregard we see for hard work.”

Well, talk like that certainly holds a lot of weight. Especially, coming from a guy who’s likely never put in a real day’s work in his entire life. Now, in his defense, he probably has no idea what the hell “Labor Day” is even about. …

Republicans hopeful MAGA COVID patients can get ivermectin meds through the new Farm Bill

Source: Wikimedia Commons

An Ohio judge has just reversed an order issued two weeks ago by a different judge, which forced a hospital to administer the livestock dewormer “ivermectin” to a patient admitted with coronavirus — at the demand of his spouse. His wife obtained the ivermectin prescription from Dr. Fred Wagshul, a Dayton doctor who has developed a huge online following for prescribing ivermectin to coronavirus patients.

Interestingly enough, the patient given the ivermectin has not been able to shake his COVID, however, he reportedly won the 3rd race over at Northfield Park yesterday afternoon. …

Interesting how Republicans who deny citizens healthcare benefits, are now offering free mental health analysis

Source: Wikimedia Commons

During an interview on Fox News, Rep. Brian Mast (R-FL) told host Jason Chaffetz that Joe Biden deserved to be punished for his actions during the U.S. military’s withdrawal from Afghanistan, demanding Biden be immediately removed from office for “treason and schizophrenia.”

Wow, apparently calling President Biden “Sleepy Joe,” just doesn’t seem strong enough for the Congressman. And then, claiming Biden should be removed from office for “treason and schizophrenia?” Why, that’s basically like accusing Biden of “governing like a Republican.” What a horrible accusation to make against someone!

I’ll tell ya what, this Rep. Brian Mast appears to answer…

Not that Trump would ever expect any sort of quid pro quo arrangement

Source: Wikimedia Commons

According to a report from the Religion News Service, the launch of Donald Trump’s new “National Faith Advisory Board” got off to a rocky start, as former president Donald Trump began by complaining about Catholics and Jews who didn’t vote for him in the 2020 election, despite “all I did for their communities.” Trump added that “I did a lot for the Catholics,” and “Israel has never had a better friend, and yet I got 25% of the [Jewish] vote.”

Now, I certainly can’t speak for the Jewish community, but my guess is there might be a rather strong reluctance…

Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish is an actor, comedian and political satirist, who is widely known as one of America’s most trusted sources for fake news.

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