Open in app

Sign In

Write

Sign In

Mastodon
Johnny Robish
Johnny Robish

1.7K Followers

Home

About

Published in

The Haven

·Pinned

Moon Astronaut Buzz Aldrin Weds to Celebrate His 93rd Birthday

We’ll see if Buzz can still get it up, up, and away! — Buzz Aldrin announced on his Facebook page that he has married his “longtime love” in a small ceremony in Los Angeles. The former U.S. astronaut, who was the second human to ever walk on the moon, married 63-year-old Dr. Anca Faur on his 93rd birthday. Faur, who has a doctoral…

Buzz Aldrin

2 min read

Moon Astronaut Buzz Aldrin Weds to Celebrate His 93rd Birthday
Moon Astronaut Buzz Aldrin Weds to Celebrate His 93rd Birthday
Buzz Aldrin

2 min read


Published in

The Haven

·1 day ago

Lauren Boebert Goes on Fox to ‘Explain’ Disruptive Theater Groping Incident

And wouldn’t you know, she says this incident really taught her a valuable lesson — After creating a disturbance and getting escorted out of the theater during a presentation of “Beetlejuice,” Lauren Boebert went on the Jesse Watters Fox News program to do her penance after being captured acting like an immature high school brat on theater security footage. In her interview, Boebert assured Watters…

Humor

2 min read

Lauren Boebert Goes on Fox to ‘Explain’ Disruptive Theater Groping Incident
Lauren Boebert Goes on Fox to ‘Explain’ Disruptive Theater Groping Incident
Humor

2 min read


Published in

The Haven

·Sep 15

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis Won’t Rule Out Bombing Mexico

I fully understand his concern, given how Florida sits right on the Mexican border and all. At least that’s how its being taught in Florida schools these days. — In a tense exchange with CBS Evening News’ Norah O’Donnell, Florida Gov. and Republican presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis said he wouldn’t rule out launching missiles into Mexico to combat drug cartels shipping drugs into this country if elected president. This wasn’t the first time DeSantis has threatened the use of…

Satire

3 min read

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis Won’t Rule Out Bombing Mexico
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis Won’t Rule Out Bombing Mexico
Satire

3 min read


Published in

The Haven

·Sep 12

GOP Sen. Ron Johnson Claims Clouds Will Stop Climate Change

Yes, and I’m pretty sure Sen. Johnson got this information while he was on ‘Cloud 9’ — During a segment on Fox News, while discussing climate change, Senator Ron Johnson (R-WI) made the claim that the world is not really facing a climate crisis and that it is all just so much hysteria based on “bad science.” He further claimed that alarmists were “ignoring the impact of…

Humor

2 min read

GOP Sen. Ron Johnson Claims Clouds Will Stop Climate Change
GOP Sen. Ron Johnson Claims Clouds Will Stop Climate Change
Humor

2 min read


Published in

The Haven

·Sep 10

Wisconsin GOP Threatens to Impeach Newly Elected Liberal State Supreme Court Justice

It seems Wisconsin voters committed the heinous crime of “voting while liberal.” — Wisconsin Republicans are threatening to impeach newly elected liberal state Supreme Court Justice Janet Protasiewicz, even though she hasn’t as yet heard even a single case. Republican legislators are demanding she recuse herself from any and all cases where she might have at one time expressed a general opinion on…

Satire

2 min read

Wisconsin GOP Threatens to Impeach Newly Elected Liberal State Supreme Court Justice
Wisconsin GOP Threatens to Impeach Newly Elected Liberal State Supreme Court Justice
Satire

2 min read


Published in

The Haven

·Sep 7

Tucker Carlson’s Guest Claims Obama Sold Him Crack and They Had Gay Sex

Shame Charles Manson’s no longer around so Trucker could allow him to tell his side of the story — On Tuesday, Tucker Carlson decided he’d give a platform to a guy named Larry Sinclair to resurrect an old tale of his in which he claimed to have had a sexual encounter with Barack Obama. …

Politics

3 min read

Tucker Carlson’s Guest Claims Obama Sold Him Crack and They Had Gay Sex
Tucker Carlson’s Guest Claims Obama Sold Him Crack and They Had Gay Sex
Politics

3 min read


Published in

The Haven

·Sep 3

Trump’s Financially Troubled ‘Truth Social’ Facing Key Funding Deadline

Hell, Judge Clarence Thomas seems to have lots of wealthy friends. Maybe they could help out. — A complex deal to take Donald Trump’s social-media platform Truth Social public faces a crucial test next week that could determine whether it becomes a multibillion-dollar company that the former US president once vowed would stand up to “big tech,” or just languish in financial limbo. …

Satire

2 min read

Satire

2 min read


Published in

The Haven

·Aug 31

Tucker Carlson Predicts Trump Will Be Assassinated

Gee, a lot of folks are sitting in jail for following Trump’s directives, while Trump plays golf. Do you think they’re mad? — Appearing on anti-woke comedian Adam Carolla’s YouTube show this week, Twitter podcaster and fired Fox News host Tucker Carlson is pounding home the theory that Democrats and the D.C. establishment are plotting to kill Donald Trump, this time claiming that we’re “speeding toward assassination” because “permanent Washington” has decided they…

Humor

2 min read

Tucker Carlson Predicts Trump Will Be Assassinated
Tucker Carlson Predicts Trump Will Be Assassinated
Humor

2 min read


Published in

The Haven

·Aug 29

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Careful Donald! Start a DeSantis ‘roomer,’ and he’ll call you a ‘groomer.” — Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th…

Humor

2 min read

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis
Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis
Humor

2 min read


Published in

The Haven

·Aug 21

Southern Calif Double Slammed by Hurricane Hilary and 5.1 Earthquake

Republican prayers are answered! — Just as Hurricane Hilary was plowing its way north from Baja, Mexico, into the southwestern United States, a preliminary 5.1 magnitude earthquake struck Ojai, California, on Sunday. …

Satire

2 min read

Southern Calif Double Slammed by Hurricane Hilary and 5.1 Earthquake
Southern Calif Double Slammed by Hurricane Hilary and 5.1 Earthquake
Satire

2 min read

Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

1.7K Followers

Johnny Robish is an actor, comedian and political satirist - who is considered one of America’s most trusted sources for fake news.

Following
  • James Michael Wilkinson

    James Michael Wilkinson

  • Brian Dickens Barrabee

    Brian Dickens Barrabee

  • MattOwensRees writer on Thai culture and lifestyle

    MattOwensRees writer on Thai culture and lifestyle

  • David Martin

    David Martin

  • Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier)

    Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier)

See all (57)

Help

Status

Writers

Blog

Careers

Privacy

Terms

About

Text to speech

Teams