Armed Militias Flock to Gettysburg to Foil Fake Antifa Flag Burning

Johnny Robish
2 min readJul 6, 2020

--

Armed Militias Flock to Gettysburg to Foil Fake Antifa Flag Burning: After a mysterious figure on social media repeatedly boasted about plans antifa protesters supposedly had to converge on the Gettysburg battlefield on Independence Day to burn American flags — armed militia members, bikers and white nationalists turned up en masse July 4 to defend against the imaginary flag burning by leftists.

Wow, slow down all you macho weekend warriors — looks like the antifa boogeyman gotcha good. Why, it’s a miracle these pot-bellied, gun-toting, “Early Bird Special Forces” didn’t form a circular firing squad — and start shooting each other in the name of “free-dumb.”

The truth be known, it’s a pretty safe bet that the only thing even close to combat most of these tattooed, 101st BarcaLounger Squadron warriors have ever seen — is fighting their way to the front of some buffet line.

I’ll tell you one thing, it’s lucky for them that the hoaxer didn’t suggest to these gullible half-wits, that the flag burning was going to place inside the mouth of an active volcano.

Anyway, that’s gotta be quite a let-down. I suppose that means it’s back to running around in the woods, playing grab-ass with the other storm-trooper wannabes. That said, it’s still kind of sad to think this 4th of July, the Gettysburg battlefield ended up completely littered with tons of white trash.

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

--

--

Johnny Robish
Johnny Robish

Written by Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish is an actor, comedian, and humor writer who is considered one of America’s most trusted sources for complete nonsense.

No responses yet