Chimps Hoot to Warn Unaware Companions of Dangers

Johnny Robish
2 min readOct 12, 2016

Chimps Hoot to Warn Unaware Companions of Dangers: In a kind of cleverness once thought to be uniquely human, researchers say chimpanzees emit “soft hoots” to warn unaware companions of an unseen danger, but don’t bother “hooting” to warn those chimps already alert to the danger. On the other hand, maybe they just don’t give a hoot about those other chimps.

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Man Shocked to Learn Puppy He Adopted Actually a Wolf: An Arizona man got more than he bargained for after the free puppy with rather peculiar habits he adopted turned out to be a wolf. The man said he began to suspect something was odd when every time he would show the pup to friends, they would remark “my, what big eyes you have!” The wolf initially denied everything, even going so far as to claim to be a distant cousin of Wolf Blitzer, but later confessed after admitting it had no idea for which cable news network Wolf Blitzer was an anchor.

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Sen Sessions Says Grabbing Woman’s Genitals Not Sexual Assault: While many Republicans are trying to distance themselves from Donald Trump’s crude remarks about women, others like Senator Jeff Sessions rushed to his defense by saying they don’t characterize “grabbing a woman’s genitals as sexual assault.” Senator Sessions went on to add that his committee is even considering making grabbing a woman’s crotch the new Republican handshake.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish is an actor, comedian, and humor writer who is considered one of America’s most trusted sources for complete nonsense.