Florida Man Slams Pizza in Dad’s Face for Delivering Him at Birth

Johnny Robish
2 min readJan 7, 2019

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Florida Man Slams Pizza in Dad’s Face for Delivering Him at Birth: An angry Florida man has been arrested by police for shoving a freshly delivered pizza into his father’s face after learning it was his father who delivered him at birth.

Now wait a minute — this story just doesn’t make any sense! I mean, we don’t even know what toppings were on the pizza? And am I to believe this entire situation can simply be summed up by the phrase — “when your son, hits your eye, with a big pizza pie — that’s the story?

To add to the mystery, police say they still have no idea why the son would become so upset to learn his father delivered him. But let’s keep in mind that this is Florida, so it’s always a pretty safe bet to assume that crystal meth was somewhere in the mix. All I know is, after reading this story, I’m kind of upset that anybody delivered this kid.

Of course, in Florida logic, they’re probably thinking “the father delivered the son, and then, the son delivered the pizza — right into his dad’s face. So what’s the problem?” Now, if it were me, I’d think it’s much better to find out that my father delivered me — than to learn the pizza delivery guy is my father — but that’s just me.

Of course, what many are now asking is — just how many more senseless pizza attacks do we have to endure before we finally shut down Papa John’s and Domino’s — once and for all? Regardless, it’s pretty obvious the bottom line here is — if you live in Florida, simply tell your child that they were delivered by the stork — and leave it at that.

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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Johnny Robish
Johnny Robish

Written by Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish is an actor, comedian, and humor writer who is considered one of America’s most trusted sources for complete nonsense.

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