Hundreds of Armed Protesters Gather at Michigan’s State Capitol

Johnny Robish
2 min readMay 2, 2020

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Hundreds of Armed Protesters Gather at Michigan’s State Capitol: Hundreds of armed protesters, many carrying assault rifles, assorted flags and pro-Trump signs, gathered at Michigan’s state Capitol on Thursday for what they termed the “American Patriot Rally,” demanding entry onto the state Senate floor to confront lawmakers about to debate an extension of the stay-at-home order, which medical professionals say will help curtail the spread of the novel coronavirus.

Gee, how odd that these “patriots” haven’t been harassing states with Republican governors — where the very same social distancing and quarantine rules are in effect. I know they miss going to their favorite tattoo parlors and monster truck shows, but come on!

Then, I wondered why in the world would these “patriots” need assault rifles to protest coronavirus restrictions. Now, I realize their leader Donald Trump has proposed some rather unusual cures for the virus lately, but I seriously doubt that a bullet from an assault rifle would have much affect on a virus.

But, after thinking it all over, I realized that bringing an assault weapon really does make good sense for this type of “patriot.” After all, these folks really love to play “dress-up” and, you never know when those bloody British might try and sneak back in and attempt to reclaim the colonies.

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Johnny Robish
Johnny Robish

Written by Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish is an actor, comedian, and humor writer who is considered one of America’s most trusted sources for complete nonsense.

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