Joe Arpaio to Run for Maricopa County Sheriff Again

Johnny Robish
2 min readSep 17, 2019

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Joe Arpaio to Run for Maricopa County Sheriff Again: Joe Arpaio, an 87-year-old convicted felon pardoned by President Trump and a former sheriff of Maricopa County, Ariz., who gained national notoriety for his inhumane treatment of prisoners and his disdain for immigrants, announced he will be running again for sheriff of Maricopa County.

Wow, who knew convicted criminals can run for sheriff in Arizona? I mean, the fact Arpaio got a pardon doesn’t mean he’s innocent. It just means he’s well connected. After all, he was an early endorser of Donald Trump for President. Given that, I’m surprised Trump hasn’t appointed him FBI Director by now.

But, regardless of the pardon, the guy was convicted of a felony — which means he can’t legally even own a gun. I mean, even putting all the criminal convictions aside, why the hell would you elect someone sheriff who can’t legally own a gun?

And what the hell will be his campaign slogan anyway — “Please Don’t Read My Wikipedia Page?” Now, in all fairness, maybe he had no choice financially but to run for Sheriff again, given that Trump and all his Republican pals are trying their best to cut his Social Security benefits.

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Johnny Robish
Johnny Robish

Written by Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish is an actor, comedian, and humor writer who is considered one of America’s most trusted sources for complete nonsense.

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