Kenneth Copeland Claims God Wants Him to Preach Until He’s 120

Johnny Robish
2 min readJan 5, 2019

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Kenneth Copeland Claims God Wants Him to Preach Until He’s 120: Televangelist Kenneth Copeland, who once warned that opponents of President Trump could be “punished” with gay children, told a crowd of “true believers” on New Year’s Eve that he was starting a very serious fitness regime because God had spoken to him and told the 82-year-old pastor that he expected him to live to be 120 years old — so he could continue his preaching of the gospel.

Trust me, if this slick shyster lives to be 120 years old, it’s simply because he’s the perfect poster boy for that old phrase “only the good die young” and nothing else. Now obviously, we all know Kenneth Copeland isn’t really gonna be preaching until he’s 120 years old — it’ll just seem that way to everyone who has to listen to his sermons.

Anyway, that makes me wonder if it was also God who suggested that crappy hairpiece and the Botox injections?” Guess the Lord still works in mysterious ways. I’ll tell ya one thing I’d really love to ask Pastor Copeland — when God spoke to you, did all the room lights suddenly come on full blast too? Because I don’t think it was really God speaking to him — I think it was Amazon’s Alexa — just messing with the dude.

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Johnny Robish
Johnny Robish

Written by Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish is an actor, comedian, and humor writer who is considered one of America’s most trusted sources for complete nonsense.

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