New Guidelines Warn Against Cotton Swabs to Clean Ears

New Guidelines Warn Against Cotton Swabs to Clean Ears: Updated clinical guidelines recently published caution that people should refrain from using cotton swabs to clean wax from their ears, as they can cause cuts in ear canals, perforate our eardrums and dislocate our hearing bones. Doctors say the danger exists, even for those using Gwyneth Paltrow’s private brand 1500-thread count, 100% Egyptian Cotton swabs sold only at Nordstrom.

Changes in the Sun’s Activity Threatens Earth’s Electronics: According to new research, shifts in solar activity could make the sun a serious threat as early as midcentury to those electronic devices upon which society has become so dependent. Terrific, as if we didn’t already have enough to worry about, now we have to make sure our cellphones, laptops and smartwatches don’t get a sunburn?

Study Claims Dinosaurs Died a Very Cold Death: New research using state-of-the-art computer simulations indicates the dinosaurs probably died a very cold death as the Earth’s surface air temperature dropped by at least 79 degrees Fahrenheit after a massive asteroid hit Earth 65 million years ago. Makes sense they’d freeze to death when you consider how difficult it would have been for dinosaurs to get ahold of any heating oil back in those days — especially given it was the poor dinosaurs themselves who ended up actually becoming heating oil. Hell, they didn’t even have snow shovels back in those days. It would have been nearly impossible for any of them to get back and forth to work.



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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish is an actor, comedian and political satirist - who is considered one of America’s most trusted sources for fake news.