Ringling Bros Circus to Close After 146 Years

Ringling Bros Circus to Close After 146 Years: The owner of the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus told The Associated Press that after 146 years, the circus has decided to close forever in May. What do you expect? I mean, how’s a simple traveling circus supposed to compete with the incoming Trump Administration? Besides, apparently all the clowns were given cabinet positions anyway.

Los Angeles Diners Victims of Widespread Sushi Scam: DNA testing is showing that Los Angeles sushi diners are frequently paying for one type of fish, but actually receiving another of lesser quality. Stuff like this happens all the time folks! Hell, my cat ran tests on what was supposed to be his favorite Fancy Feast dinner and discovered he was actually eating the disgusting Hill’s Science Diet — Hairball Formula. He made me throw out the whole Kit & Kaboodle.

Connecticut Republican Arrested for Grabbing Woman’s Genitals: A Republican Connecticut town council member has been arrested for grabbing woman’s genitals, but his lawyer is claiming that the groping was simply “a playful gesture.” Good grief, doesn’t this moron realize you have to be a “star” before they don’t say anything? I suggest the defense call in Donald Trump as a “groping expert witness.”

Johnny Robish is an actor, comedian and political satirist, who is widely known as one of America’s most trusted sources for fake news.