Space Flight Found to Shrink Astronauts’ Brain Size: According to a University of Michigan study, analyzed scans of people who’d spent long periods of time in space found the volume of grey matter in their brains had actually decreased. In fact, one astronaut who’d spent a prolonged period of time on the International Space Station, was found to have lost so much brain matter that when he returned to Earth, he tried to convince NASA that the Earth was flat, the Apollo moon landing was faked and the 2016 Cleveland Browns were the greatest football team of all-time.
News Corp Announces Big Changes for Wall Street Journal: In an attempt to be more supportive of the new administration, Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp has decided to completely drop all business reporting in its Wall Street Journal in order to focus completely on the progress of President Trump’s beautiful new Mexican border wall — this dramatic move will include changing the paper’s historic name from the The Wall Street Journal to simply “The Wall Journal.”
Stores Pulling Nutella After Report Links It To Cancer: Nutella, the popular hazelnut spread, is being removed from supermarket shelves around the world as a result of a report that suggested one of its main ingredients — palm oil — has been linked to cancer. Makes sense to me! I live in California where they have palm trees everywhere and there’s no question that some of the people living in California have cancer.